On... nerds in high school

I rediscovered this post made by one of my nerdiest nerd friend. This is her commentary on the epic battle between nerds and jocks at the lunch hour as I was on Team Nerds. Now keep in mind that this was over 5 years ago, so don't judge me on my nerdiness.


Nerds vs. Jocks
Round 1
One day, the nerds arrived at lunch and found that the jocks had taken over their table! Oh no! Now, all the nerds had to squeeze at the little table. Boy were the nerds angry. What to do, what to do? They put their brains together and came up with a plan. However, just as they were about to execute their plan, internal conflict arose. Even the big table was not big enough for the increasingly growing number of nerds. Therefore, the more opinionated nerds had to shoo away four people who were just not nerdy enough. Now, the nerds were ready to fight off the jocks. However, to be fair, round one goes to jocks.
Round 2
The nerds began to carry out their plan. With their HUGE backpacks and STACKS of books, the nerds rushed to be the first ones in the cafeteria. They filled all the chairs with their books to save spots for their nerd friends. One nerd even went to the extremes. He brought a lock to lock his backpack to his chair to ensure that no jock should dare steal his chair. Other nerds used more simple nerd tactics such as clinging to empty chairs with their feet. It seems that the nerds have won round 2!
Round 3
However, the jocks with their wonderful football skills and aim decided to fight back. They not only missed the trash can, but also missed the recycle can. No wonder they can't seem to win their games these days. The emptied powerade bottles just always happened to land next to the nerdiest of the nerds and her friend. However, the nerdiest nerd believed that the saddest thing of all is that the powerade seemed to have done nothing for the jocks. They continued to lose their games. The real power went to the nerds. At the Principal's Advisory Council, the nerdiest nerd brought up the issue of the jocks. To be fair, the principal decided to just add more chairs to the cafeteria. The nerds seem to have won again!
Round 4
Unfortunately, the nerds did not have enough muscles to carry the extra chairs across the cafeteria and the jocks were just... plain lazy. So the feud continued. One day, the jocks decided to steal the nerds' chairs. Fortunately, there is a black belt amongst the nerds. With his intimidating karate moves, he quickly scared the jocks off. Returning to prehistorical way, the jocks, caveman style, threw all sorts of wild objects at the nerds. The nerdiest nerd got hit expecially hard. A grape flew right onto her precious Calculus book, and a carrot fell into her beloved Stanford hoodie. The winner of this round will have to be the jocks.
Round 5
Being just nerds and very nice people, the nerds felt pity for the jocks. They thought that mental stress must be the reason for the jocks' uncalled for actions. Well, after all, it is a sad thing to have gpas that will barely even get the jocks into HCC. Knowing that they will make more in one month than the jocks will ever make in one year, the nerds decided to call for a truce. However, the jocks did not accept the kindess of the nerds with an open heart. Instead they decided to play a game of "throw the coke bottle." The bottle aimed straight for the nerdiest nerd and coke splashed all over her, her friends and her table (more importantly however, it splashed on the before mentioned precious Calculus book).Were the nerds going to take this? NO WAY! So, the nerdiest nerd got pissed off. Her friends backed her up, and together they yelled at the jocks. The nerdiest nerd's friends comforted her with many piece of candy. The nerdiest nerd began to regain her cool. However, the nerdiest nerd was still angry. The issue must be brought to the Superintendent! The nerds win Round 5!
The story must now end. Nerds vs. Jocks, the score is 3:2. The nerds win! YAY!
wow. what a nerdily nerdy story! --- cynth_cat's xanga


This story made my day. I couldn't even read it at work because I couldn't stop laughing.